Self-care: From what age, who is responsible, and how it is organized in the world

Self-care is not about anti-wrinkle cream and the gym. It's about the ability to listen to your body, manage your resources, ask for help when needed, and not destroy yourself for others. We learn this throughout our lives, but the beginning is always one — childhood. The question is when this skill becomes conscious, and who is responsible for its formation: the person themselves, their family, the education system, or the state. And how does this balance look in different countries? Let's try to figure it out.

From what age does a person start to take care of themselves

Don't expect a three-year-old to consciously regulate their daily routine or monitor their posture. However, the first steps towards self-regulation occur already in early childhood. Psychologists say that around 3-4 years old is the stage when a child learns to recognize hunger, thirst, fatigue, and report them to their parents. This is an initial level of care — not independent, but already conscious.

Adolescence is a key stage. At 12-16 years old, a person not only becomes aware of their needs but also starts to make choices: to sleep or sit on the phone, eat normal food or fast food. During this period, self-care often conflicts with peer pressure and exams. And here, the role of whether the parents instilled the skill of \"listening to oneself\" earlier is crucial.

Adulthood is already not learning but practice. By the age of 25-30, most people have their established routine of care: sleep schedule, physical activity, rest, doctors. But many come to this only after a crisis — illness, burnout, divorce. And this is normal. The main thing is to come.

Who does not like to take care of themselves and why

There is a category of people who fundamentally do not consider it necessary to spend time on themselves. And it's not always laziness. Often, this is the result of upbringing. If a person heard in childhood: \"Don't whine\", \"You're not tired\", \"Others are worse\" — they grow up with the belief that their needs are not important. Self-care is perceived as egotism. And such people, as a rule, give a lot but get nothing in return — until they break down.

Another category is people who do not know how to ask for help. They seem to think that self-care is the province of the weak. They are ashamed to go to the doctor, do not take sick leave, endure discomfort. More often than not, these are men, but there are also many such women. They are only helped by total exhaustion, when the body itself makes an ultimatum.

And there are those who simply do not know how to take care of themselves. They were not explained, not shown. They may have money, time, opportunities, but not have the skill. Their life is a circle, where they serve everyone but themselves. And this is not a reluctance, but a lack of culture.

Who is responsible for taking care of a person: themselves, their family, education, employer, or the state

There is no one answer. At different stages of life, the center of responsibility shifts. In childhood, the main burden falls on parents and school. They lay down the schedule, monitor health, teach to cope with stress. But already in adolescence, this is a shared responsibility: the child can already make decisions, and the adult can correct them.

The employer also has its share of responsibility. Companies that create conditions for the care of employees (insurance, psychologist, opportunity to rest, flexible schedule) — invest not only in the health of employees but also in their loyalty. But the employer is not required to take care of you — they create conditions, and you decide how to use them.

The state is an important player. Universal healthcare, education system, psychological assistance, child and elderly care allowances — all this infrastructure allows a person to have the right to care. But the state cannot take care of every individual. It creates opportunities, and the person chooses whether to take them or not.

And finally — the person themselves. In the end, no one knows you better than you. Relatives can take care of you, but not instead of you. Friends can support you, but not for you. The employer can give benefits, but not use them for you. Responsibility for your condition lies with you. And this is not scary — it is free.

How is self-care organized in different countries

In Scandinavia, self-care is a social skill that is nurtured from childhood. There, they teach to talk about feelings, take breaks, not overwork. There are mandatory psychology lessons in schools. Employers encourage weekends and do not call after six. The state provides long paid maternity leave. This model works because it is systemic.

On the contrary, in the United States, there is a culture of individualism. You are the master of your own destiny. If you have depression — go to a therapist, if it's expensive — your problem. There is a high value placed on self-sufficiency, but the price of failure is high. Insurance is a privilege, not a norm. Therefore, self-care in the United States is more of a privilege of the middle class than a basic right.

In Germany, the insurance system is mandatory but bureaucratic. You are required to take care of yourself because the law stipulates it. There is a culture of planning — vacation in advance, doctors in advance, sports on schedule. Here, care is discipline.

In Russia and the CIS countries, self-care was considered secondary for a long time. It was customary to endure, not complain, work to the bone. Now the younger generation is actively revising these attitudes. Psychologists, conscious practices, sports are appearing. But the infrastructure is still lagging behind: free medicine is overloaded, and quality medicine is expensive.

In Japan, there is a separate term \"karoshi\" — death from overwork. Self-care is not a priority for many corporate workers there. However, at the state level, this is recognized and efforts are made to regulate it: working hours are reduced, mandatory vacations are introduced. But the cultural code changes slowly.

Conclusion: self-care is a skill, not a whim

Self-care begins with the first \"I am tired\" and continues throughout life. It is formed by parents, school, culture, but the main architect is the person themselves. It doesn't matter where you live: in Norway, the United States, or in a Russian village. The main thing is to understand that you have the right to your health, your time, and your boundaries. And no one but you can protect them. Self-care is not egotism, but responsibility. To yourself and to those who love you.
© elib.co.za

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